Chapter 1
Introduction
The main
purpose of this manual is to prepare you (and your family) for prison.
Although there is some discussion of prison life and daily routine, the
focus is to physically, emotionally, and financially get you, your family and
friends ready for incarceration.
Make no
mistake; you may be the one “going inside.” But family and friends are heavily
affected. It is up to you to
minimize the pain and inconvenience.
Inmates
said the first year of incarceration, family concerns were far, far more
stressful than daily prison life.
Ironically, they said while waiting to come to prison they worried more about
prison life and what was going to happen to them.
When they came to prison the overriding concern was how their family was
going to make it without them. While
free they fretted about something they had no control over, when inside they
kicked themselves for not doing the smart thing.
You have an
opportunity now to learn from their experiences.
But you must act!
Many
inmates told stories of assets they wanted to keep. Later then wished they had
sold those items because they needed the money, could not afford the upkeep like
insurance and monthly payments, or family and friends no longer wanted to
maintain those assets longer.
Family
won’t be able to sell your assets as easily or get as much as you can.
Therefore carefully consider what needs to be sold as a long term
decision. Family budgets were not
set so shortly after arriving money dried up and families were left in difficult
situations. This too is preventable
with some forethought. It is a large
exercise in this manual. Be prepared to make some tough choices.
Some
inmates wished they had gotten married (or divorced).
Under this kind of distress relationships become markedly closer or
weaker. How many of your
relationships can be saved and strengthened with proper planning?
How much relief can be found with a cleaner, more amicable dissolution?
These are questions you must answer after much thought.
There are
many things that are or soon will be spiraling out of your control.
The important thing is to make well thought out decisions on the things
you can still control.
This manual
is broken into easy steps for you and your family to follow.
They need not be completed in order.
Don’t kid yourself, either you can do them or they will be done for you!
After hundreds of interviews- it is far more beneficial if you complete these
lists yourself.
Time can
get away quickly. Do not put off
what you can do now. Talk with family and friends openly about what needs to be
done and ask for help.
Asking for
help does not relieve you of the responsibility for what happens.
Trust, but verify.
Inmates
(mostly drug dealers) wished they had collected debts.
Now is an excellent time to get back loaned items, and cash.
A number of inmates believed they could collect those debts 5,6,7 years
after they got arrested. Not likely.
This manual
is going to push you to sell everything that is not absolutely essential to
life. Cash is king, but family must
not take the cash and spend it unwisely.
Too many times people who had a windfall of money spent it in haste only
to have nothing but debt in the end.
A good
workable short term and long term budget is needed.
Anyone who has access to your assets needs to understand it has to last
until you (or your family) can provide for themselves.
What you have may not be enough in which case even more difficult
decisions have to be made. It is
best of plan for this now.
The
emotional needs and reactions of you and your family will also be covered.
The first twelve months is a wild roller coaster of highs and low.
The lows
are inevitable. How you minimize them
(and their depths) can make your time away from family much more bearable for
you and them.