Chapter 7
Help Family Adjust
At some point your family is
going to have to live without you.
There are many, many things you do for them without anyone realizing it.
How well is your family prepared to take over your duties?
Important information Notebook
Start by creating a 3-ring
binder notebook to hold important information.
It needs to be flexible so you can add categories.
This chapter will cover four
categories, contact information, account numbers and passwords, emergency action
plan, and what if… list. Feel free
to add more categories t fit your particular needs.
This notebook should be kept in
an accessible yet safe place. It is
not advised to write login information or sensitive information in this manual
as you may lend this manual to someone.
Contact Information
Start your notebook with contact
phone number of services, family and friends. Use Appendix C as a sample
template. You can easily create your
own customized version.
The first entry should be the
address and emergency numbers where you will be housed include your registration
number.
Appendix A has a listing of BOP
Facilities with street addresses and telephone numbers.
BOP.Gov has a current list as well.
Account Numbers and Passwords
Lost financial website passwords
are a real hassle. Your family will
have to jump through more hoops than a circus poodle to recover a forgotten or
unknown password. After a very short
period in prison you will probably not remember them either.
Financial account numbers and
insurance policies should be kept in a central place.
Credit/Debit card numbers and the bank telephone number (Which is printed
on the back) should also be on this list.
Emergency Action Plan
What should your family do if
someone close to you dies? Who takes
care of your children if their guardian is incapacitated? Where dose your family
go if the house catches fire?
The next category is to write an
emergency action plan including when and how to contact you ensure your family
is actively involved in the process. There is no substitute for a well written
and rehearsed reaction to tragedy.
As many family and friends as
possible should have a card with procedures for contacting you in case of
emergency.
When they call the facility
number they are not going to be able to speak to you directly,
They are going to get someone in the office who may know nothing about
you. Make sure your registration
number is clearly printed.
They should calmly explain to
the BOP staff the nature of the emergency and multiple contract persons with
phone numbers. They should also
email you if you have it set up (see trulines in Chapter XX).
Family and friends should know
that it can be several hours before you will be notified and you’ll be able to
call back.
Explain going to the prison will
do not good. Unless it is during
visiting hours the BOP will not let your family see or talk to you.
There are specific procedures that must be followed.
What If… List
The next category is a “What If…
“List. There are regular tasks that
may take written instructions like setting the timer on the DVD player or
microwave after a power outage.
As you go through your daily
routine keep a journal of what you do when something goes awry. Do not assume
your family knows what to do.
Appendix D has some ideas to get you started.
It is a good idea to keep
product instruction manuals with this notebook.
Delegate Chores
Now is a great time for children
to get involved by taking over some of your chores. Explain to them how
important it is for them to step up in your absence.
Step Back, Not Away
If you normally take care of the
laundry, show others how to do it.
Then help them with the routine.
Don’t sit back and do nothing, at the same time don’t do it all while they
watch.
Eventually they should be in
charge and you’re just their little helper.
Doing chores together will strengthen bonds.
Goals
In order to minimize your
absence family members should get into new routines.
Each family member should have written goals and deadlines.
Setting goals in writing gives it more meaning.
Even young children should set
their own goals and make plans to attain them.
Be involved with their goals and accomplishments.
This gives you something exciting to talk about.
Keep family and friends in
though with each other.
Ask friends and family to stay
in touch with each other. Call,
write, or email them to get together.
This will keep them thinking and talking about you in a positive light.